It's the way you smile...-Part II

Once our busy/crazy Cali trip was over Lorraine, Papas and I flew back home to Spokane. I wasn't thrilled because I knew the weather would be gloomy and cooler then Temecula. But I needed to come back home because I missed my Justin a lot. :) Of course he was very excited to see me. He had done lots of work around Gator and Diane's house (that's where we are living now) and had made sure the house was pretty clean. I'm always very shocked to come home to a clean house. Ummm I do have the BEST husband.

Once back I had to go back to work. I was very worried about working on my feet all summer. When I was in Cali my legs and feet were all swollen. I saw Dr. Brown (my OB) and he said flying and the heat probably made my feet swell up and to expect it this summer. That didn't make me feel any better. I believe that was 6/28 and we got to find out the sex of our baby. Most people know but it's a boy! :) Justin, Lorraine, Papas and I were all very excited when we found out. Pretty much everyone I called said are you serious?! Everyone expect him to be a girl but everyone seemed very excited the baby was actually a he. We cant wait to welcome little Titus William into the world. He's already very loved.



I was back in Spokane for about a week and then headed to see my Mom, Kurt, Zachary and family in New York. I had a great trip. Everyone was very happy to see me and I was happy to see all of them too. My mom and I took nightly walks and would watch the lighting bugs. I've never seen lighting bugs before. They are really cool. Sometimes Zach and Kurt would join us and other times we'd walk alone. We went to some of my favorite shops and my mom cooked delicious meals for me. My allergies were super bad while I was out there. I actually thought I was sick because they were so bad but I tried to keep up and not just lay around all day.

One day I got to do a photo shoot with Zach. My mom wanted me to get a good picture of him because she has this giant picture of me and feels bad she doesn't have one of Zach. Mine is actually my senior picture and she kept saying "once Zach graduates I'll have one of him too" but it came to a time where she couldn't wait any longer. I think she was pretty happy with the photos I got of him. He's a pretty good model once he gets in the grove of it. :)



We had a family bbq/birthday party for Kurt and my grandma Carol/congrats to me. It had been a few years since I've seen all of my aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents and it was great to see everyone who could make it. Babies are being added to the mix in our family. It's crazy to see little toddlers walking around in our family again. The bbq was a great afternoon and great time to catch up with the family. I feel like I don't ever get to see them so I always learn something new about them. Over all the bbq was great and weather was awesome.



The whole NY trip was awesome. I spent lots of time with my Mom and Zach. I feel bad but I don't try and make lots of plans out in NY because I want most of my attention focused on my Mom, Zach and Kurt. I've realized being so far from them is very hard on me. Living with my Mom my whole life to going to where I see her maybe once a year is super hard on me. This sounds really bad but I don't like holidays/birthdays without her. Why? I had her apart of them for 19 years of my life and now I don't. Like I really dislike Thanksgiving because I should be with my Dad. Summers were spent with my Dad too and it's hard not just getting to drop life for 3 months to just go visit him. I decided I don't like changes like this or I'm just a huge baby and I'm still a daddy and mommy's girl. :) I know as I have Titus and other kids here it will be somewhat easier because I'll be focused on them but as of now I miss my Mom and Dad for stuff like that. Hint: If my either of my parents would like to visit me around the holidays or my birthday I would appreciate it very much. ;) LOL Anyways leaving my Mom, Kurt and Zach was hard on me also. Zachary started tearing up about an hour before. He always makes goodbyes super hard. I know my mom is sad but she holds it together and will still talk to me where Zach can go into not speaking or just crying. I had to tease him because it makes it easier on me not to cry. Seeing a 15 year old giant cry is hard. (Zach is over 6 foot) At the airport I hate walking to security because that's when I normally loose it. I can still see them and it the last chance I get to peek at their sad faces. Thinking about it now makes me sad. As I walk through security I have to suck it up quickly. I don't want people looking at me weird because I'm crying. :) I hate people seeing me sad... it's something I dislike a lot. The flights back home where long. I stopped in Vegas and played some machines and lost. Normally in Vegas I win something but not that trip.



I met Justin at the airport again. Happy to know I wouldn't be leaving him anytime soon. I miss my family but I hate being far from him. Sounds cheesy but I don't feel complete without him and I feel somewhat awkward. :) Yep, very cheesy. LOL Anyways, my last few days in NY a friend told Lorraine her sister needed childcare for her son. Lorraine wouldn't be able to do it and said she'd ask me. We made plans to meet and I decided I'd quit Oxford. It was very sudden but had to happen with my legs and feet swelling up. I started this week and it's been great. For the most part he's a very chill baby. I missed taking care of little kids and it gives me sometime to prepare for Titus. :)

Speaking of Titus he's been moving a lot more since I've been home from NY. Lorraine and Justin have both felt him now. I keep saying Titus is lazy because I don't feel him all the time but I think he's just still pretty little so he has lots of space to float around still. I look forward to the days where he cant really hide from us. Even with me being so sick I have enjoyed getting to know my little guy. If I lay on my back I know within minutes I should feel him do something. :) I am very excited to meet him and I know Justin is too. We both have had lots of dreams about him or before we knew the sex of the baby. I had one dream where my mom did an ultrasound on me to tell me it was a boy. In my dream I kept thinking how did she know how to do that?! I wasn't even shocked he was a boy, I was shocked my mom knew how to work the ultrasound machine. :)

Well, I think that mostly catches us all up. :) Hope everyone loves my novel. LOL

You make my heart beat faster...

Hey Everyone! I thought I should catch up since I've been in and out of town for awhile now. We went down to Utah to surprise my dad for Father's Day. He was very excited to see Justin and I. Dad, Lisa, Justin, Bandie (their little doggie) and I went camping for a few days. It was a nice trip. I love camping with them. They know lots of tricks and cook amazing food!!! Justin had to leave a few days before me. He drove back home that Sunday (Father's Day) and I stayed till Tuesday morning to leave to Cali. But after our camping trip I did get to see some of my cousins, aunts and uncles. I still wasn't feeling amazing so I wasn't my normal self and I was super tired. Overall we had lots of fun and it was great to see my dad and Lisa. I miss them a lot!



Tuesday, June 21, 2011
I left Lisa and my dad for Cali. Doesn't matter how old I get, I get sad to leave my parents. It's been very difficult living so far away from a lot of the people I love. No matter how old I get I think I'll always be a baby about leaving my dad and mommy. Flights were pretty good. I'm pretty use to flying. I've been doing it alone since around 5 years old. I know the drill really well. I actually giggle to myself when someone doesn't know to take off jackets, shoes, belts and etc. I'm not judging them but I just know they don't fly much. Anyways I made it to San Diego and waited for Lorraine and Benjamin to show up. We went down there for Eric's graduation from boot camp and Ben and Heather's wedding. (Ben is Lorraine's dad for those who don't know and Eric is her brother. Both are like family to me)

I was very excited to see Eric and see how different he looked and acted. We went to Family Day (Thursday), that day was a very long and emotion day for all of us. I actually teased Lorraine that she'd cry and I thought oh I'll be fine. I love Eric but I didn't think I'd be upset about it. He's lived in Portland for the last year and I've gone months without seeing him but with only sending letters it kinda sucked. I couldn't just check his facebook to see he was alive and doing stupid stuff for 3 months. We waited a few hours and some drill instructor talked forever about staying off of the grass. Ummm we get it, lets hurry this up! Well, Eric ran by us for a big run they had planned. I found him right away and was trying to point him out to Ben. I believe I started the crying train... so who was the baby... me. haha I was just so proud of what he had accomplished and I had missed him a lot. After their run they finally allowed us to see him and talk to him. We all shared hugs and some tears. We walked around and headed to get some food. Benjamin had done awesome for how long the day was. He was very excited to see his uncle and kept saying ooo-rah. Very cute. We all had a great day and got some sun.



That Friday we had Eric's graduation. It didn't take as long as the Family Day did. It was a great ceremony and wasn't too bad to watch. I felt bad for all the guys though. Seemed like they had to stand forever. I'm sure they were use to it. :) Justin and I are very proud of Eric. He always said he wanted to be a Marine but I never really imagined him doing it. Eric is like a little brother to me. I still picture him about 15 years old but while he was in boot camp I realized he's not 15, he's a man now. It kinda blew me away. I cant say enough about how proud we are of him. He is amazing and we are so happy he accomplished something he wanted really bad. :)



Saturday- Lorraine, Benjamin, Diane and I decided we'd run errands and then swim at a friends house. Errands went well except I forgot my wallet and then on our way to swim we were in a car accident. Main car who hit us, her flip flop slid under the brake and she couldn't stop and hit a car who hit a car who hit us. Diane and my neck were sore right away. Lorraine and I were very worried about our babies and Lorraine worried about Benjamin also. We had to grab my wallet so we could go to the ER. We wanted to make sure we all were ok and especially the babies in our tummies. I hate California for this big reason. You wait forever in emergency rooms. They saw Lorraine almost right away. Diane, Papas (Benjamin) and I waited for hours. Diane ended up leaving because she didn't want to miss Ben and Heather's wedding. We didn't want to miss it either but we wanted to make sure the babies were ok. Papas and I were seen at the same time. They already didn't allow Papas to go with Lorraine and so there wasn't anyway I'd let them separate us. Papas and babies looked ok. Lorraine and I were told to see our doctors still, just to check everything out. We were so glad after 5 1/2 hours to be out of there.



Ben and Heather put off their wedding till the 3 of us (actually 5 ;)) showed up. Lorraine and I felt super bad they held off for us but we quickly changed and watched the wedding ceremony. I took pictures and of course I wasn't on my A game. It was a very long day but I got some good shots. It was very nice. It was so awesome to be apart of. We are very happy Ben has found someone that makes him happy again. Heather is great for him and has fit into the family pretty well. She loves Benjamin so much and I know she'll love the other ones that come along just as much. Congrats guys! :)



That's pretty much the Utah and Cali trip. I'll do part 2 later for NY and other stuff. :)